The following are actual physical education excuse notes from parents (original spelling included):

• My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

• Please escuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

• Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he gell out of a tree and misplaced his ho.

• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football, he was hurt in his growing parts.

• Megan would not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

• Please excus Chris from P.E. today cus he has an acre in his side.

• Please escuse Ray from P.E today because he has loose vowels.

• Please excuse Jimmy for being because it was his father's fault.

• Please excuse Jennifer for not having proper attire today. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.